stuck like glue?

Then,

As the last three boxes I forgot about get unpacked.....I am left reliving memories. 

Someone once told me that I needed to redo a post I once wrote about you and I. 

Sorry its taking me a little while to get done. I just never knew what to write about.

I think I do now, though. 

We have been through some tough times, but most of my best memories in my crazy messed up life....have you in them. 

Backroads, music, Chinese runs, anything. 

I felt as though you were the sister that I always wanted. 

We were going to grow up and have our kids and they were going to be best friends. 

You the boy, which you had, 

me the girl.

My life hasn't been the same though since we have been separated.

I use to think that we would be the true friends for life, truely stuck like glue.

You were the one who hauled my butt out of bed the next day after my break up and took me to the lake to spy on guys, helped me study, got me some good tans, made me feel free in my life. There was never a worry because I knew  I would always have you to help me through them. You gave me so many reality checks. So I never needed to. 

Now, 

I am just envious of you. 

You have the husband and beautiful baby boy, whom no matter what, I love dearly. A precious house with some bad ass trucks parked outside. A job you love and pretty much safe on not losing.

Because you have everything I want, I dont have room in you life. 

I understand that though. 

I wanted to bad to be back in your life. And I am in some way...... but not fully the way I pictured. 

I have been working on it though. I have found the TRUE man of my dreams. and have been trying for months to get pregnant. I have  begun to wonder if I can at all.....

I know I am meant to be a mother...That's the only thing I have going for me.

I want that little girl. 

I need you in my life. I miss you more than anything. 

I need someone I can talk to about anything again. Who will give me their honest opinion on life. 

I am me again. Out of that messed up life and fully recovered. 

I am extremely happy...

I just need my sister back to be whole. 

one of the last few pictures taken

**Love is Infinite**

There are a few people in my life I will do ANYTHING for. 

My mom 

Kimberly

Samantha

Jake

Blake 

Ethan

Jacob

These people in my life are so wonderful and I have no idea what I will do with out them. 

Though i do get upset and fustrated with them sometimes, I still love them with everything I have. I really hope they know that. 

I got into a fight with one today, I regret it...but she is still my best friend and amazing. I truely do think she is a wonderful person with so much to give to this world. I am not just one of her other friends, i hope she realizes, and that I am here to stay by her side no matter what. She is going through a really rough time and derserves all the happiness. 

I am going hunting for a place to marry my wonderful soon to be hubby tomorrow with my mother I am so excited. 

Sam graduated high school today and I am soooooo proud of her. : ) she has done a wonderful job. 

Ethan and Jacob....well they are the boys. Only settleing down. I am happy they have found someone wonderful and will be happy. I told them so. haha

Jake is about to graduate AIT here soon. Time needs to hurry...I want my brother home. 

31 December 2011 (Military style)

I am going to become a military wife to my amazing Navel MP...Then is when my life will change.
In all honesty I am ready to get out and begin my life. In Cabot I feel I am a plant that needs to spread my roots more. That I need to be moved to a bigger pot.
I love my friends I have here, and all my family, and I hate saying this, but I'm getting tired and bored here. I've done so much and lived...I need more of an adventure than going to climb some other mountain or to a theater or bowling ally or even a mall. I want more. I want to be able to take my friends on some. I am just ready to leave.
I think this is why im so aggregated all the time. I need to get away. Maybe bring just one person and go away and talk for a few days. Go camping. just get away from the general Cabot/North Little Rock area.

**TWLOHA**

 Jamie Tworkowski is an amazing person on this whole freaking planet.
He started the movement. I love him for it. It gives people hope that everything will be ok. That we are worth more than we credit ourselves. Starting with Renee and leading to a non profit organization that has earned millions of dollars.
He has helped my best friend with her past and she ended up to me when I needed help and showed me this amazing man and what he does. I now believe there is hope and more to live for. I want to go to a speech of his one day and hear the stories with my friend.

I wear my bracelet she gave me on my wrist I stared at to remind me of everything.
To remember why I don't want to harm myself.
Why I live.
To love those who love me.

Kimberly Ferhenbach 
&
Megan Thomas


Were saved by 


Jamie Tworkowski

Sailor Wife to Be

Every kiss begins with K. Kay's.My engagement ring

January 7th, 2008 A young girl pulls into Pizza Pro upset with her parents because she had to go pick up dinner. A young guy opened the door for me with a big smile.
"How are you?" 
"Fine." She brushed passed him with her hands in her green puffy jacket not paying much attention. She grabbed dinner and walked back out to her car having this feeling that she will see him again. 
Sure enough he was out there in his step dad's truck with his window down waiting on her. 
"Hey, how old are you?" He asked. She sat her pizza and drink down.
                                                                                             "17" she replied puzzled
                                                                                             "Can I have your number?"
Thats all it took. She hesently gave him her number and drove off. 
It wasn't until later she got his name. "My names Blake by the way."


Its been three years later and we are now engaged. We broke up for a year but a little while after we broke up...we began acting like we were dating again...It took all I had not to say I love you when we got off the phone. I have always loved him. He is my world...has my heart and always will. I have no idea what I would do with out him. 
I am to marry him as soon as we can. I personally and hoping for December 31, 2011. Have my first new years eve kiss  ever, as my first bride and groom kiss. Through the years we have never has our new years eve kiss. I want to spend the rest of my life with U.S. Navy Sailor MP. Be his Cinderella and Princess and Baby Girl for the rest of my life. I never want to be with out him. I have my engagement ring and its beautiful!! I always look down at it and smile because I know I am closer to being with him and spending the rest of my life with him.

13 Actors

ALL TIME LOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I do not care what you think of them. To me they are amazing!

1. They stay true to who they are
2. They put on the best show EVER
3. They have been in a band since they were freshmen
4. They write their own music. 
5. Never broken up and they are 23 now. Thats rare
6. Always keep their stage men..never changed
7. They mess around with eachother and never get mad
8. They truly love their fans
9. They collect bras women throw on stage to them
10. The music is AMAZING and has meaning
11. They are hot. 

12 Back Roads and Water

Windows down. Music blasting!

I love pointless drives. If I am ever mad I just go. Just me or with a friend. Rides down the country back roads I have learned are the best. Thats the only thing good about my ex. She showed them do me. I remember one of the best was with my friend...we were both pissed and down down some to Carlisle  and it had just rained so puddles were everywhere.We hit a road that was filled and just dove splashing everywhere with the windows down. I stuck out my had and just felt the water hit me. 
Water and rain and the second thing I love. I  Cant get enough of the water. :) Lakes are the  best.

I love driving or riding around in a car! It relaxes me.