stuck like glue?

Then,

As the last three boxes I forgot about get unpacked.....I am left reliving memories. 

Someone once told me that I needed to redo a post I once wrote about you and I. 

Sorry its taking me a little while to get done. I just never knew what to write about.

I think I do now, though. 

We have been through some tough times, but most of my best memories in my crazy messed up life....have you in them. 

Backroads, music, Chinese runs, anything. 

I felt as though you were the sister that I always wanted. 

We were going to grow up and have our kids and they were going to be best friends. 

You the boy, which you had, 

me the girl.

My life hasn't been the same though since we have been separated.

I use to think that we would be the true friends for life, truely stuck like glue.

You were the one who hauled my butt out of bed the next day after my break up and took me to the lake to spy on guys, helped me study, got me some good tans, made me feel free in my life. There was never a worry because I knew  I would always have you to help me through them. You gave me so many reality checks. So I never needed to. 

Now, 

I am just envious of you. 

You have the husband and beautiful baby boy, whom no matter what, I love dearly. A precious house with some bad ass trucks parked outside. A job you love and pretty much safe on not losing.

Because you have everything I want, I dont have room in you life. 

I understand that though. 

I wanted to bad to be back in your life. And I am in some way...... but not fully the way I pictured. 

I have been working on it though. I have found the TRUE man of my dreams. and have been trying for months to get pregnant. I have  begun to wonder if I can at all.....

I know I am meant to be a mother...That's the only thing I have going for me.

I want that little girl. 

I need you in my life. I miss you more than anything. 

I need someone I can talk to about anything again. Who will give me their honest opinion on life. 

I am me again. Out of that messed up life and fully recovered. 

I am extremely happy...

I just need my sister back to be whole. 

one of the last few pictures taken